A N700,000-a-year Christian matchmaking platform launched by relationship coach and pastor, Kingsley Okonkwo, has triggered a heated debate among Nigerians, with critics accusing him of commercialising the search for love and marriage.
The platform, ‘Mentor To Marry’, offers three annual membership packages ranging from N70,000 to N700,000, with the most expensive package providing subscribers with a dedicated matchmaker and coach, priority access to the platform’s founders, off-platform introductions and other benefits.
Okonkwo, who is the lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, unveiled the platform in a series of posts on X on Wednesday, describing it as a guided marriage-preparation and matchmaking community for serious Christian singles seeking intentional, faith-based relationships.
The launch has, however, generated strong reactions online, particularly because it came after Okonkwo had criticised what he described as the increasing commercialisation of relationships in the country.
In one of his posts, the pastor said, “I feel for the men of this generation…. relationships have been so commercialised nowadays that it’s almost impossible for a young man to find true love.
“When we were young, all you had to get was a girl’s phone number but now all they want to send is their account number. Now you are expected to pay rent, school fees and transport before you are taken seriously.”
Okonkwo subsequently directed men interested in meeting “godly well mentored ladies from all over the world” to Mentor To Marry.
He, however, clarified that his comments were not an indictment of women generally, saying there were still women interested in genuine relationships.
“I can assure you that not all women are in relationship for business, there are a lot of good women looking to connect with serious godly men on our platform,” he said.
The pricing structure has become the major source of controversy, with some social media users arguing that a platform created to address the commercialisation of relationships should not itself require hundreds of thousands of naira from people searching for spouses.
A Facebook user, King Phill, questioned the apparent contradiction, asking, “If relationships have become increasingly commercialized… Then why is he also commercializing it?”
Another user, Salome Zamani, said she would have considered using the platform but was discouraged by the cost.
“If na by this one I no go see husband marry be that ohhhhhh cos am single and would have love to try it out but e be like I go just concentrate on God kawai,” she wrote.
Similarly, Affitex Eduno argued that the pricing had already amounted to the commercialisation Okonkwo criticised.
“With the prices stated here, relationship commercialisation has taken place already… make I dey here dey find my own on a low key (Facebook), who knows I might find my will of God here,” the user said.
Joel Johnny Umoh also questioned the idea of putting a price on access to potential partners.
“The road to find love is becoming so narrow every day. I sha know say God no fit monetize heaven if not hmmmmm,” he wrote.
Another user, Comfort Bassey Bee, said, “‘Spoke about how relationship have become increasingly commercialized.’ Is that why you’re also commercializing the situation? It is well.”
On X, @gatsegwasiPhD questioned why a man who could not afford N700,000 should have to pay such an amount to meet “godly” women.
“Don’t you see how you are contradicting yourself? You say relationships are commercialised and men who don’t have money should still pay 700k to meet ‘godly’ women? So tell me who has such amount if not rich men?” the user wrote.
@DaraMoren1 similarly said the pricing appeared inconsistent with Okonkwo’s earlier position.
“Relationship has been so commercialised nowadays yet you went ahead to commercialize it. Mentor to Marry price list has Reg, Premium & VIP,” the user wrote.
But the initiative has also attracted support from Nigerians who argued that Okonkwo was offering professional marriage counselling and matchmaking services rather than charging people for the Christian gospel.
Former Big Brother Naija housemate, Neo, defended the pastor, arguing that consumers were entitled to pay for services they considered valuable.
“The man did nothing wrong. Since Nigerian men and women cannot choose right to save their own lives, maybe paying for counseling will unlock common sense,” Neo wrote on X.
He added, “Every product or service is worth whatever the customer is willing to pay for it. Y’all are giving him Free PR.”
Another user, Princewill Chuka, said critics were unfairly attacking Okonkwo for charging for professional expertise.
“People just trying to gaslight the man for nothing. Pay for his professional services or get lost. He didn’t charge you for the gospel, he’s charging for knowledge that has taken him years to master,” he wrote.
Jerry Babaleye, who identified Okonkwo as both a pastor and professional marriage counsellor, also defended the distinction between his ministry and professional services.
“It’s important to note tho, that this man is both a pastor and a professional marriage counselor. He charges for professional counseling, outside of his ministry doings, they’re not the same,” he said.
Deborah Moses argued that pastors also needed legitimate sources of income.
“You all said pastors should get a job. He coined a job that allows him to still have time for the Gospel. Allow now,” she wrote.
Peter, another supporter, questioned whether it was realistic to expect a pastor to provide free counselling to everyone seeking his services.
“So, if he has 100 people to give free guidance daily when does he live and earn a living? Pastors are not required to die for us, let’s be humane,” he said.
According to information on the Mentor To Marry platform, the service is structured around mentoring before matchmaking.
The programme begins with eight weeks of mentoring classes, assessments and guided reflection before members gain access to matching services.
The Regular membership costs N70,000 annually and provides eight weeks of mentoring classes, assessments and surveys, access to limited profiles, an accountability system, five weekly chats and access to a country-based matching pool.
The Premium plan costs N350,000 annually. It includes the Regular package, unlimited profile browsing, monthly profile recommendations, priority access to coaches, global profiles, 10 weekly chats and private groups.
The VIP package, which costs N700,000 annually, includes a dedicated matchmaker and coach, priority access to the platform’s founders, 15 weekly chats, off-platform introductions, profile protection and access to global profiles.
The platform, however, states that payment does not guarantee a match, mutual interest or marriage.
It says its objective is not simply to help singles meet prospective partners but to prepare them for the kind of marriage they desire through relationship education, accountability and guided mentoring.
Mentor To Marry is operated by Love, Dating and Marriage Ministries, described by the platform as a non-profit organisation registered in Nigeria.
The service is targeted at Christians aged 25 and above, with members required to identify as Christians and agree to the organisation’s statement of faith.
Members must also be unmarried, divorced or widowed to participate in the matchmaking service and are required to provide truthful information about their identity and marital status.
The platform prohibits sexual harassment, exploitation, abuse, fraud, catfishing, sexually explicit content and financial exploitation.
It lists Okonkwo and his wife, Mildred Okonkwo, among its founders, citing their experience in pastoral care and marriage mentoring.
Efforts by Saturday PUNCH to obtain Okonkwo’s reaction to the criticism were unsuccessful as of the time of filing this report.
When contacted by our correspondent, an associate who answered his phone directed the reporter to send the inquiry via WhatsApp.
The message sent to Okonkwo’s WhatsApp line was, however, not responded to. Messages sent to his Instagram handle seeking his reaction to the controversy were also unanswered.
(Punch)
